Varicocele and Childlessness

Just now, I have browsed the sexualcounselling web site. I have a problem with varicocyls on the left side testicle ( I am not sure the spelling of varicocyls).What is the remedy and somebody told me that it could be operated. If so, whom I should contact? Besides this, I got married since last two years. I am aged about 29 years. So far, I have no children. Any chance is there for getting children after operation. Please advise me.

Varicocele is a common cause of male infertility, because it reduces the sperm count, and/or motility and/or spoils the physical structure of the sperms.

Medicines do not cure this problem. Surgery is the best remedy and a urologist is the right person for this. If your semen parameters are affected by varicocele, and there are no other causative factors, then the chances of their improvement will be fair after surgery. Long standing varicoceles can lead to shrinking (atrophy) of the testes leading to permanent inability to produce spermatozoa. Therefore, it is advisable to get operated sooner than later, if varicocele is diagnosed to be the cause of your sub-fertility.

In a few persons in whom varicocele has permanently damaged the testes function or in whom poor spermatogenesis has other reasons - surgery will not improve the condition.

How do I know I have climaxed?

i have had only one partner - my husband. After he cums and removes his penis, cum fluid leaks out of me. Is this normal?

Also, how do I know for sure that I have climaxed - is there also fluid? or is it just a feeling?

Yeah, the seminal fluid (cum) ejaculated by the man during intercourse will, and has to, come out after the man withdraws penis from the vagina. It is normal!

Women generally do not emit any fluid like the man does at climax, though some individuals as well as authorities claim that there is an ‘expulsion of fluid in some women’ at the time of orgasm (climax).

You will reach orgasm when your sexual tension and excitement mounts to a peak level during sexual activity, and then suddenly, just as a sneeze occurs, there is a sudden burst-like release of all that tension. There will be rhythmic contractions (not in your control) in the genital area and inside your lower abdomen. This intense pleasurable feeling itself is the climax (orgasm).

STDs don't turn into AIDS

since last 5 to 6 years I am suffering from sexual problems . when i was at age of 20 , i suffered with some sexual diseases. That time I found some black bold spots on my penis. But later I came to know they are std’s which will came and disappear, but it came to know these std’s will lead to AIDS. just recently I have done my HIV test, it came negative. But sir new problems started. Whenever this std’s occur, I am suffering with ejaculation problem, lungs, bronchitis, pains in legs, bones and joints. I want to know what other diseases accompany std’s other than aids.

Gentleman, stop worrying. STDs do not turn into AIDS. Those who have untreated STDs are MORE likely to catch HIV, IF THEY indulge in sexual intercourse with someone who has HIV infection. Simply having an STD does not lead to AIDS. Do you get the point right?

Your complaints like ejaculation problem, bronchitis, joint pains etc. are most probably unrelated to STDs. The sources for these problems have to be identified and treated. Definitely all these problems will vanish if treated properly. First of all, consult a STD specialist. If your symptoms are related to some hidden or incompletely treated STD, appropriate treatment will be given. If they have nothing to do with STDs you will be referred to the concerned specialist.

As to your ejaculation problem, let us know what exactly is happening to enable us to suggest a way out.

Why does it hurt so much?

OK recently I have been having problems with my girlfriend (of 4 years) with sex. We do not get to see each other often since we are both currently going to separate colleges. I see her about once a month, and when we do get the opportunity to make love she complains of pain immediately after intercourse. She says she feels like she has been ripped open. So for the rest of the time we get to see each other she is not in the mood for sex because of the fear of pain. Every once in a while the sex will not hurt her.

Just to let you know, we have been having sex for over 3 years, we have tried different positions, we have used lubrication and my penis isn't extra large. Even during the summer when we see each other daily she complains of this pain. This is driving me crazy and she seems to feel uncomfortable asking anyone about this, even her doctor! I am wondering if I am actually cutting her or if there is anything she or I could do about this. Please respond I need your help!

Please take her to a gynecologist who will evaluate her to determine the causes such as
non-sexual/sexual infections of the urinary tract, vagina, unyielding scars of a previous tear at or near the vaginal opening, skin conditions, chemical irritation from douches, spermicides, condoms etc.

Concerns of an unmarried

I am 29 years old and will be getting married soon. I have the following questions:

1. My Wife is a virgin, I understand she will bleed during the first intercourse. What should be done to make this hurt as less as possible. Also is there something that we can apply to stop / minimize the bleeding.

2. I am uncircumcised and I read in an article somewhere that one should pull the foreskin back before putting on a condom, could you please confirm this

3. How much role does foreplay / Oral sex have especially before the first sex.

4. How much time does it take to have a proper sexual intercourse, esp during our honeymoon.

1. Even if a woman had never experienced sexual intercourse prior to marriage, she may not bleed during the first intercourse. These days it is uncommon to come across women of marriageable age with intact hymens. Participation in sports, swimming, bicycling, horse-riding, use of tampons during menses, and insertion of fingers or objects into vagina during sexual self-pleasure will lead to stretching or rupture of hymen well before the first intercourse. Some are born with only a rudimentary hymen or none at all.

Many are mentally well prepared for the event and will have lubricated enough by the time of penetration to permit a painless and bleed-free entry of penis into vagina.

However, some women do experience discomfort or pain and bleeding during the first few attempts of penetration. To minimize not only this discomfort, but also the tension and anxiety that builds up in many women and men at the time of first intercourse, it is advisable to go slow, taking time to settle down mentally.

Sex should take place in a vary relaxed atmosphere, which frequently is absent on the wedding / nuptial day. Usually you are tired, under stress or preoccupied by non-sexual thoughts on this day.

More than 50% of women, in a survey, reported feelings of nervousness and fear on their wedding nights - which impair the sexual responsiveness. This is probably why the Ancient Indian Scholar Vatsyayana, in his treatise, Kamasutra, had forbidden lovemaking for the first three nights... and described elaborately on how to make the lady feel comfortable (Chapter two of the Third Part). Some of his advise is particularly relevant when the couple have little prior acquaintance with each other and when either of them is nervous.

The time - be it hours or days - spent on building communication between them about sexual matters, showing love and affection to each other, understanding each other's concerns and fears, understanding one’s own and each other's bodily responses to sexual stimulation ... go a long way in building a strong and affectionate wedded life as well as a satisfying and enjoyable sex life for the newly wedded.

Thus it is a good idea for sexually inexperienced couples and newly wedded to just kiss, cuddle and wait to have intercourse until they are relaxed. This itself is the first step in having a less painful first intercourse.

Take this opportunity to explore each other’s bodies including genitals. Awareness of female genital anatomy is important. Do apply some K-Y Jelly, Surgilube or similar water-soluble lubricant to the tip shaft of your penis, near her vaginal opening and an inch or so into the vagina.

You or your partner may wish to insert, at first one finger, and then two into her Vagina. If two fingers can go without much difficulty, the penile entry should not be difficult. If the vagina does not permit the second finger, it may be necessary to slowly stretch the opening with the tips of two fingers till they are all allowed in! It may occasionally take several attempts (a few minutes each time spread across few days) to achieve this. Be patient.

Certain coital positions are very congenial for easy entry of penis. We shall describe one such position here below:

"The woman lies across the bed with buttocks as near its edge as possible; her thighs are parted and the legs hang down from the bed. The feet may be supported on a low stool. In this position the vaginal canal opens out and the vaginal muscles slacken. The man stands between the thighs of his partner, bends forward towards her and effects the entry" - AP Pillay

2. Yes, it’s important to pull back the foreskin before putting on a condom to prevent its rupture during intercourse. Click here to learn more about using a condom.

3. Foreplay (caressing, kissing, stroking and other forms of skin-body contact) plays an important role not only during the first intercourse, but almost every time thereafter. It sexually arouses your bodies and minds, prepares for intercourse, makes sex more pleasurable; it enables you to understand what is good to you and your partner in sex ; what turns you on or off, and so on. It makes your bodies respond physiologically well enough to make penetration easier.

As to oral sex, much depends on your partner’s attitude towards it, the level of acquaintance and comfort you have with each other sexually, and the like. If she dislikes oral sex, it is a definite no-no at this time. Many women are shocked at the mention of oral sex, some jump at it, and some neutral. So, the best thing is to discuss it with your partner and, if she is willing, to go ahead whenever you both feel like. There are no hard and fast rules.

4. Well, there is no such thing as ‘proper intercourse’. The experience of first sexual intercourse will be disappointing for some, painful for others, highly pleasurable to yet others and ‘nothing-special-about-it’ to a few.

Often, during the first several times of intercourse, the man ejaculates very fast, therefore the first sexual intercourse may not last long. The time it takes from penetration to orgasm varies a lot - from less than half a minute to several minutes. Do not measure the time, in any case! Over a period of time and with some effort one can gain reasonable control over orgasm.

Painful intercourse

I’ve been having sex for about 2 months now and I just recently went to a gyno and the doctor check everything out and everything was fine. I’ve also been on the pill for about 2 weeks now and when i have sex with my boyfriend I bleed and its beginning to hurt a lot more than it did after I got used to actually have sex. I don’t know if its because of the birth control or another medication I’m taking (Sumycin) but I don’t know what's wrong. The only thing that I can think of that will solve this is taking a rest from sex for a while. Thanks a lot.

Without a physical examination and a few tests, it is difficult to say what causes bleeding and why it hurts during intercourse. The burning sensation or pain could arise from yeast or bacterial infections. Use of Birth control pills and antibiotics - both provide a favourable atmosphere for yeast infections in and around vagina - so this is a common cause of painful intercourse.

You say you were examined by a gynecologist. If you had taken a Pap test, and started having sex a day or so after that, this could probably account for bleeding in intercourse. Cervical infections / erosion are common causes of bleeding during sex, for someone who had normal intercourse earlier.

Please do consult your gynecologist again and explain the problem. Taking holiday from sex may not solve the problem.

Burning micturition following intercourse

Whenever we involve in sex my wife is having a problem in urine; After sex when she goes to bathroom, she is having lot of burning in urine and it continues at least 4 to 5 hours. She is not in position to do any other work and due to this reason she is very much afraid to involve in sex and due to this problem. We do not have any sex enjoyment. My wife is 26 years old and my age is 33 years. Your advise will be highly appreciated.

Obviously she has developed a urinary tract infection which requires an examination by a gynecologist and/or a urologist, who in turn will perform routine & microscopic urine examination and, urine culture & sensitivity tests to identify the cause and source of the infection. With a few days of appropriate treatment her problem will resolve. You will also need to take the medication to prevent recurrent infection in her.

Please note that urinary infections are common among women for two reasons: The female urinary opening, due to its proximity to vagina, frequently comes into direct contact with microorganisms during sexual activity. The urinary tract in women is very short giving easy access for the germs on the vulva to bladder.